Kicking and Screaming

Yesterday I took Sophie with me to the post office on the way to daycare. We got there early so I pulled her into the front seat with me and she played with my iPhone apps as we waited. When the post office opened we went inside and she danced around the people in line making friends with everybody. On the way back to the car I found myself thinking what a lovely morning I had with her.

BUT then I tried to put her in her car seat and all hell broke loose. Oh my. I had never seen her throw a tantrum like that. Especially not in public. She flailed (is that a word?) her body around like a fish doing everything she could to not go in that seat. She screamed and cried bloody murder and I think she might have even smacked me. It became such a scene I finally had to go inside the car from the other side and shut the door so that nobody witnessed our struggle. Because honestly, they probably would have thought I was trying to kidnap her by all the kicking and screaming.

I was so shaken up by it that I didn't even notice until half way to daycare that my emergency brakes were on. When I got to daycare and pulled her out of the car I got a whiff of her diaper. So I of course blamed myself for being an idiot and not realizing that the reason she didn't want to sit down in her seat was because she knew what was coming. I did everything I could to hold back my tears of guilt as I dropped her off. When I finally got to the shop I locked the door behind me, burst into tears, and called my Mom.

The thing is though that the dirty diaper ended up not being the issue at all. Because apparently she threw tantrums for the rest of the day. And then this morning when she did it again I looked at her sternly and asked, "Do you want to go in your crib?". This line normally works like a charm. I can say it anytime of day no matter where we are and she takes me seriously. Even if we are in the car on the other side of town with no crib in sight. But this morning she just looked at me and said, "OK!". My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to do. So I said,"fine, in you go!" and in she went. When I peeked in a few minutes later I caught her with one leg swung over the rail climbing out and smiling with pride as she did it!

Two days ago I had a child that behaved. Two days ago I had a child that on the rare occasion she didn't behave I could put her in her crib for a two minute time out and everything was right in my world again. Two days ago my daughter was too small to climb out of the crib. Two days ago I thought I had this mother thing down.

I would love to say I came up with some parenting epiphany since then. That God whispered in my ear that everything would be OK. But even now as I write I can hear her jumping in her bed like it was a trampoline laughing at me and refusing to sleep. I am at a complete loss.