Inadequate

A friend and fellow blogger had this to say last week about why she stopped reading everyone else's blogs.

"They were making me feel pretty inadequate. Every blog made me feel like I was looking at the perfect mother. Their houses are amazing and decorated beautifully, their kids are spotless and dressed to impress and they come up with crafty ideas EVERYDAY. Not only that but they have time to be witty, take their kids on the most educational outings and take pictures whiles doing it. Geesh!"

And I couldn't help but smile while reading it because that is exactly how I feel! So it got me thinking.

First of all, I wonder if that friend and fellow blogger knows that she actually makes me feel inadequate all of the time. She is a mother of three, the most creative person I know, and an amazing business woman.

Second of all, I began to wonder if I ever do the same thing to anybody else? I try to keep this blog more personal and less business. But let's be honest, do I really write about my bad days or my messy house or the fact that I let Sophie watch too much TV? Nope. I don't post pictures if you can see a pile of laundry in the background. And I really don't post photos if I'm in them and you can see the left over baby fat I haven't found the time to lose. So yes, maybe I'm a fraud too. So in an effort to free myself and stop the charade here is a little bit of truth about me.

I don't ever leave my house with a hair out of place. But that's because I'm insecure. I show up to work looking like I've got it all together but what nobody knows is that I left a small trail of chaos behind me to pull that off. I'm probably wearing the only thing that was clean. I probably would have shown up with it wrinkled if my sweet husband hadn't insisted I take the time to iron it. I'm always running late. My house is always a mess. I go to bed every night with the intention of getting up early to work out and read my bible but that rarely happens. I still haven't put together a photo album of Sophie. I forget my shopping list every time that I go to the store. I can't cook. I can't sew. I have frizzy hair. I enjoy Sponge Bob Square Pants. I'm a bit of a workaholic. In fact, I'm completely undisciplined in everything but work. And sometimes I let my daughter get away with too much because I find her defiance adorable!

That felt kind of good.

I'm a Genius.

I'm not one to think outside of the box. In fact, if the most obvious solution isn't going to get the job done then that's it, I'm out of ideas. Like Netflix for example. I had accidentally thrown away a couple of the envelopes that you send your movies back in. For months I couldn't figure out how to send the two extra discs that I had back. Finally I googled it. Turns out you can put more than one movie in their return envelopes. Duh, I know. But still, that never would have dawned on me. Part of why I love my husband is his ability to think outside of the box. Granted, I'm probably really easy to impress. But at least he comes across as a genius at least once a week.

BUT this idea was all mine. My daughter is advanced in all ways but one. I'm honestly not trying to brag. She could hold her head up at birth and started walking at 8 months. And I don't mean like at the end of 8 months so really 9 months. I mean the day she turned 8 months so I could almost say 7 months. She is just freakishly strong and coordinated (which she did not get from me). But the one thing that she has trouble with is silverware. She loves it, wants to eat with it, is determined to learn but just horrible at it. The other day she was trying to eat her Cheerios with a spoon and was getting kind of mad at the whole thing. But as I watched I couldn't help but admire her determination. And as I'm thinking how much easier her life would be if they would just stick to the spoon BAM, I'm hit with a genius idea. All on my own too! Peanut Butter! Not a lot, just a little and she can wield that spoon where ever she wants.

Too bad Peanut Butter doesn't go with everything. Hopefully by the time she figures that out she will have a better handle on feeding herself.

Life Lessons

Things that Sophie has taught me...

1. You only need a few words to get through life. NO, Please, Thank you, NO, Hey, More, Ouch, NO, Nice, Milk, Banana, NO. If you've got those down you can really navigate just fine.

2. Nothing starts the day better than Cheerios, Sesame Street and Dad's favorite chair.

3. A Binki (pacifier) dipped in Peanut Butter cures all.

4. Two of anything is always better than one.

5. Don't ever leave anybody behind-even in it's one of 17 stuffed animals and you're only going from the bed to the couch.

6. There is nothing more fun than being naked and running from your mother.

7. Pajamas are for the birds.

8. Ants really are fascinating.

9. You don't need music to dance.

10. Grandma is the funnest person of all.

Update

We were really hoping to get the store open by Thanksgiving but I don't see it happening. I'm going to shoot for December 1st though. We signed a long lease so we just want to make sure that it's perfect. I've learned in the past that if we say we will finish a project at a later date just to hurry up and get the doors open, that we don't ever actually finish it.

Goodbye Friend

My favorite necklace sold today. I know, I say that a lot. A lot of them become my favorite in one way or another. But I think that if you spend that much time nurturing anything that you are bound to get attached. However THIS necklace was different. It really was my favorite and I was very proud of it. Women would stop by and look at it everyday. And not once did I encourage anybody to ever it buy it. It wasn't that I wanted to for myself. I just really liked to look at it. So the moment that somebody would try it on I would just get real quiet. Awful, I know! But I really didn't want to see it go.

Today though a lady and her very fashionable mother fell in love with it. They were very careful as they made their choice. And even though the necklace was clearly for the daughter it was a joint effort in every sense. At the end of the sale I was happy to see it go to such a great set of shoppers. But I'm not going to lie, I will miss my friend.

Surrendering

I can't really give the details. But something very important in my life was taken away. Even though I saw it coming and was prepared for the hurt I was still very upset. That night I cried in my husbands arms and we prayed about it together. And what God told me was to let it go. To surrender it and not to worry about it, that he had my back if you will. And so I did. Though it was hard it was also a relief. I was so tired of worrying about this happening that when it did happen I was just glad that it was over.

And so the next morning I woke up at peace with letting go of something I thought was so important. Too important really. And I heard God say, "This is going to hurt, but let me work." And work he did.

I was given back what was lost but under better circumstances. I know that is a promise in the bible but it was so rad to have it happen the way it did. I don't ever want to live outside of God's will. I don't ever want this feeling of total trust to depart from me. I know that in time it probably will. I am only human. But today the lesson didn't escape me and I am so thankful that I have a God that loves me and knows me and pays attention to detail. And I'm so thankful that he put people in my life that would fight for me.

I promise to try and hold the things of this world with a loose hand. And when something amazing happens to me, even if I can't share the details, I will share the lesson.

Failing To Do It All

I have a confession to make. I'm a little sad. On the one hand I'm excited for the second location. From a business perspective it's a smart move. And from my perspective as a designer it's a necessary move. I need that space and that exposure to expand. But from a personal perspective I'm kind of a wreck. We were planning on adding to our family right about now. And though a second location was always in the works I didn't really think that it was going to happen right away. I know that I have all the love and support I need should I decide that I'm ready for another child. I'm just sad that I might not be ready. It's a lot to juggle even without children. How would I juggle it with two of them?

I know that the most important part of my life is my family. They will always come first. I just want to be able to provide for them too.

Halloween

Poor Sophie didn't actually get to celebrate Halloween. By the time the day came around she had just enough of a sniffle that we had to keep her in. Thankfully I was so in love with her costume that I put her in it every chance I got before Halloween ever arrived. There are many more of these photo of Sophie going about her day dressed as a monkey. The only thing missing is the banana we were going to have her carry as we went door to door. Oh well, there is always next year.

Details

So just a little advice to anybody thinking of opening a store on Maui. Unless you have the previous tenant transfer the electrical into your name, or allow you to transfer the electrical to your name, then you will owe the electric company a $500.00 deposit to get the lights turned back on. EVEN if you were a previous customer in good standing. So yes, I am now $500.00 over budget and I haven't even started yet!

And yes the chandelier is coming out of storage. My husband was thrilled to learn that he would have to remodel the ceiling to make it happen.

And the hard work begins!

When it comes to commercial real estate it's always a game of hurry up and wait. I signed the lease over a week go but had to be patient while we waited for the previous tenant to vacate. It was weird signing the lease this time around. It's the first time that I have done that without Greg by my side. And it wasn't because he wasn't on board. It was just that we had already done this several times before and I didn't realize that I was breaking a tradition until it was actually happening. It made it kind of bitter sweet for me. From now on Greg will just have to be there no matter how busy we are.

So anyway, on Friday we were handed the keys and became official Paia tenants! We still have so much work to do but are trying not to rush ourselves. It's always been a push before to open by a certain date. But this year we don't have another rush until Christmas, so we have some time. So far on the list is paint the outside of the building, add a patio, plaster the inside, take out the drop ceiling, add some vintage wallpaper and make a whole lot of jewelry. Greg started on Saturday and is already exhausted! Thankfully though we are blessed to have friends willing to get dirty.

I won't post all the before photos until I have some after photos. But I couldn't resist this one of Sophie standing at the front door while we were doing the walk through. I hope that one day when she is all grown up that she can look at that photo and know that we were doing it all for her.