Motherhood

I have had the worst and best morning. And because I can't get past it I thought that it was better to write about what's on my heart than anything else. Besides, it says in my greeting that I would write about being a wife and mother too. So here goes.

It's 7 AM and we are busy getting ready for the day. Greg has a meeting in Oahu, Sophie has Preschool/Day care and I have class. Yes class, a jewelry class that I will talk more about another day. I'm excited. This is my one day off in two weeks and I have things to do. After Greg leaves for the airport I sit down and start making out my To-Do List. By the way, I love To-Do Lists. Nothing makes me feel more efficient than crossing things off of a list. Sometimes I even write stuff on my list that I have already accomplished just for the joy of crossing it off!

Anyway, as I'm writing down all that I have to do my phone rings. It's Greg sounding very apologetic and a tad bit scared. Turns out that he left for the airport with my car keys in his pocket. I hang up and BURST into tears. And I mean burst. You would have thought he called to say he that was leaving me by the way I reacted. It's not that I didn't want to spend the day at home with Sophie. Of course I did. But this always seems to happen to me. I work from home 2 days a week because it is impossible to get everything done at the shop while talking with customers. They are my days, without anybody around, to run my business. They are my days to cross things off of that list that I love. And I look forward to them the way most people look forward to a vacation. But somehow more often than not something interrupts them. Life? Or maybe God?

So as am sitting on the floor with my face in my hands sobbing I realize by the pitter-patter of little running feet coming down the hall that Sophie must have heard me. She runs over to me, gets down on her little knees, moves my hands, and looks up at my face. She gives me the sweetest smile that I have ever seen and starts to wipe away my tears. And in that moment I hear the Lord telling me to slow down and love every minute of my life. Even the ones that I'm mad at. This is the day, this is the moment that He wanted me to have. I can make up my class. I can apologize to the customer whose order isn't getting mailed out today. But I can never get that moment back with my little girl pouring her love on me ever again.

I once read a book by Author Robert Fulghum and he called moments like these, standing knee deep in the river and dying of thirst. I don't think that I ever fully grasped what he meant until just now. But I have a feeling that it's a lesson I will probably have to learn over and over again. And if I get to experience that kind of love in the process than I will gladly take the lesson that comes with it.