Kicking and Screaming

Yesterday I took Sophie with me to the post office on the way to daycare. We got there early so I pulled her into the front seat with me and she played with my iPhone apps as we waited. When the post office opened we went inside and she danced around the people in line making friends with everybody. On the way back to the car I found myself thinking what a lovely morning I had with her.

BUT then I tried to put her in her car seat and all hell broke loose. Oh my. I had never seen her throw a tantrum like that. Especially not in public. She flailed (is that a word?) her body around like a fish doing everything she could to not go in that seat. She screamed and cried bloody murder and I think she might have even smacked me. It became such a scene I finally had to go inside the car from the other side and shut the door so that nobody witnessed our struggle. Because honestly, they probably would have thought I was trying to kidnap her by all the kicking and screaming.

I was so shaken up by it that I didn't even notice until half way to daycare that my emergency brakes were on. When I got to daycare and pulled her out of the car I got a whiff of her diaper. So I of course blamed myself for being an idiot and not realizing that the reason she didn't want to sit down in her seat was because she knew what was coming. I did everything I could to hold back my tears of guilt as I dropped her off. When I finally got to the shop I locked the door behind me, burst into tears, and called my Mom.

The thing is though that the dirty diaper ended up not being the issue at all. Because apparently she threw tantrums for the rest of the day. And then this morning when she did it again I looked at her sternly and asked, "Do you want to go in your crib?". This line normally works like a charm. I can say it anytime of day no matter where we are and she takes me seriously. Even if we are in the car on the other side of town with no crib in sight. But this morning she just looked at me and said, "OK!". My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to do. So I said,"fine, in you go!" and in she went. When I peeked in a few minutes later I caught her with one leg swung over the rail climbing out and smiling with pride as she did it!

Two days ago I had a child that behaved. Two days ago I had a child that on the rare occasion she didn't behave I could put her in her crib for a two minute time out and everything was right in my world again. Two days ago my daughter was too small to climb out of the crib. Two days ago I thought I had this mother thing down.

I would love to say I came up with some parenting epiphany since then. That God whispered in my ear that everything would be OK. But even now as I write I can hear her jumping in her bed like it was a trampoline laughing at me and refusing to sleep. I am at a complete loss.

Tsunami

When Greg called me last night and asked if I was watching the news I thought that he had caught me watching American Idol, something I promised I wouldn't do until he got home. When he started talking about Japan and tsunamis I started looking out the window to see if he was spying on me from the street. But then I turned on the news and realized that it wasn't a joke at all. It's at times like these that I am so glad I live upcountry far away from the ocean.

I immediately began calling all my friends who live in evacuation zones and offering them a place to stay. Most of them, including my Mom, hadn't even heard the news yet. Greg had the privilege of stopping by the store on the way home and standing in line for a few hours for some water and canned food. My stepson filled the cars up with gas (also a very long line) and hit the ATM machines for us. I turned the fan on full blast in Sophie's room to try and drown out the noise of the emergency sirens before they started. These are just some of the things that you do to prepare for a tsunami. And then at 2AM the news announced the wave heading our way had increased from 6 feet to 8 feet. So off Greg and Ty went to empty the Paia store of all the things I wasn't ready to see wash away.

I know that I'm very blessed it all ended up OK. I know that I'm very blessed to not be in the kind of situation that those in Japan are in. Dealing with death and loss on such an extraordinary level. I know that I should be feeling something different in my heart than what I'm feeling right now. But to be honest, to be really really honest, I'm struggling. Sophie Grace Maui has had some challenges these last few months that I haven't been able to really write about. And just like this, they were all because of events that had nothing to do with me. As a Mom trying to provide for her family I'm frustrated because I know that this too will effect us. Spring Break is our busy time, I bought supplies to gear up for that busy time. And now with the airports closed and tourism put on hold, I'm sad.

Please don't judge me. It took everything in me to admit that. In the grand scheme of things my little business is not important. I am very very blessed. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling a little discouraged...

Hello There

I realize that it's been 30 days since my last post. I haven't given up on my blog. Not in the least. But you know that post two posts down? The one that talks about increasing my payroll and stepping out in faith? The one that says it was going to be hard? Well it was, and still is. I'm learning that when you step out in faith there are many rewards, but also many tests and a few attacks along the way. I had barely hit "post" when the challenges began rolling in. I won't get too detailed as there are people I love who might not want their lives written about. But let's just say this, my business was almost uprooted by circumstances that had nothing to do with me and my household has almost doubled permanently (no I did not have a baby).

It might be a few weeks before I'm back blogging on a regular basis. BUT it's Saturday and I'm not working just like I said. Through it all I'm sticking to my decision to work less. And no, blogging isn't work. Greg is running errands and Sophie is napping. So for the first time in 30 days, I can do whatever I want!

Bohemia Boutique

I posted on my facebook page last week that I have a wedding to go to tomorrow (congrats Lacy!) and that there was a dress I had my eye on for the event that I just couldn't realistically afford at the time. So I decided to try out Bohemia Boutique, a consignment store in Wailuku. And guess what? This is the dress I found while I was there. It's by one of my favorite brands, Free People. And I actually had my eye on it when it first hit stores last year. I was sad that I didn't buy it the first time I saw it so I was pretty excited that I found it for half the price this time around.

Now I'm not a huge consignment shopper. I've tried in the past but I just don't ever find anything that I like. However, my closet was filled to the brim with clothes that I didn't need. The first time that I went into Bohemia I was pretty shocked to learn that there was actually a waiting list to put your clothes on consignment! But the manager was so very nice, she emailed me an agreement to look over and called me a few weeks later to schedule an appointment. So very very professional. After I brought in my clothes she emailed me a detailed list of everything that I brought in and how much it was priced at and how much of that price would go to me. They even mail you your checks once things start selling. I have to tell you that I was pretty impressed with the whole arrangement. I've done this only one other time at a different local consignment store and the experience was so awful that I never returned. Not even to pick up my money! And besides being professional and courteous they also have great things. Designer things! So I encourage anybody who lives in Maui to check out Bohemia Boutique the next time your in Wailuku. I don't think that you will be disappointed.

Bohemia Boutique
105 North Market Street 101B
Wailuku, HI 96793

808-244-9995

Priorities

Today is hopefully a turning point for me. As of today I will no longer be working weekends. This was never important before as Greg never had a Monday thru Friday kind of job before. But he does now and if I ever want to see him or be together as a family at the same time then this was something that I needed to do. My goal is to begin taking myself off of the schedule completely. I would like to run this company from a management position. Meaning that I would spend a few hours in each store during week days. But that I would have time to do things that I can't do when I'm required to open and close a shop everyday. Like finish our website, or sit down with our graphic designer to work on some much needed advertising pieces. Or better yet, make jewelry.

I'm hoping that my new schedule will begin to better me as a Mom and Wife first but also as a designer as well. I'm hoping that in the long run it will be a smart move from a financial perspective too. But right now I know it's going to hurt. Hiring a full time staff means doubling my payroll. Which means that it's time to start sacrificing certain spending habits. It means possibly moving into a smaller home and it means being more responsible with our money.

It's times like these I'm thankful that I don't own a home. I wouldn't have the freedom that I do now to make choices that benefit our company. Like cutting our rent in half. I'm also thankful that I have a husband that though he has his own career he is still very much a part of our family business. I'm thankful that he too is willing to go without a fancy car and home-owning so that we can build something bigger for our family. I'm also thankful that I have a Mom who was willing to jump into this boat with us. Without her I wouldn't be able to step away as I'm trying to do now. And lastly I'm thankful that the Lord has filled my life with very qualified people to assist me. I used to always have a really difficult time finding a staff. Even just one person. Now I have them coming out my ears. All in the Lords timing I guess.

I know that God gave me this little business. And I also know that he doesn't want me to continue working as I have been. I don't think I was making bad choices in the past. It's just part of it. But all the signs are there that it's time rearrange my priorities. So I have faith that my efforts will be blessed. But I'm also confident that just because it's God's will doesn't mean it will be entirely easy. So maybe keep us in your prayers anyways.

EMBARRASING!

I'm a little bit frustrated with facebook. I'm not a junkie by any means. I rarely go on my personal page and when I do it's to post photos of Sophie for her grandparents to see. It's my business one that has me a bit conflicted. I was late to the facebook game. I thought it was evil and I wanted nothing to do with it. But my very smart social networking genius of a brother in law convinced me otherwise. So I thought that I would try it. I had been collecting email addresses for years from my various locations and didn't really do all that much with them. So I set up my facebook page. Or rather I had one of my employees do it for me since I was so clueless. She did and ran all my collected email address through the friend finder. Lots accepted my friend request so I was happy.

The thing is though that these email address were collected over several years. So some people who hadn't heard from me in a really long time or who didn't remember me denied my friend requests. Which is fine. BUT as far as I know facebook doesn't allow you to track that or delete those people. So every time I enter another book of email addresses that people willingly write down in my guest book I run another friend finder. And again, people from years ago decline my offer because I can't figure out how to separate those from the new ones unless I search them one by one. Which I guess is what I will have to do now in the free time I don't really have because facebook just put me on friend restriction!

I'm not sure if that's happened to any of you before. Probably not, or at least I hope not. The whole thing is kind of embarrassing. First facebook scolded me. Seriously! And then it made me read an agreement saying I wouldn't send friend requests to people I didn't know and THEN at the bottom it made me click a button with the words "I understand". I'm humiliated as I write this.

When I retold this story everybody thought it was hysterical and laughed at me. But I was really really offended. I went to bed angry and hurt! At facebook! Most people would roll their eyes and stop using facebook. But it's actually a really big part of my business. It pays the rent during slow months. So I can't do that. And I understand why they have these rules in place. And I'm glad they do. But I'm really not a creep! Oh well. I guess that I will have to get over it. But it honestly felt like JR High when the boy you like breaks up with you! It's a feeling that never really leaves you.

Read This Blog

I blogged about my graphic artist a few months ago. A friend from high school that I reconnected with via facebook. She redid my logo and all of my packaging and marketing material. I love her work! Anyway, my friend Amanda has started a new blog that's worth reading. It's called, "My Year of Faith". She started it because she felt called to do so after her husband was laid off. On it she blogs EVERYDAY about having faith. Her husband is going on 53 days now without work and still she blogs each day about her faith in the matter. It's inspiring, and kind of addicting too. I find myself wondering each day about their situation and reminding myself to check the blog to see if their prayers have been answered yet. She also posts other people's stories of faith. I would encourage anybody who might need some inspiration to check out this blog. You will immediately feel connected to her and her situation. And if you know of anybody hiring in Southern California for a sales job then let her know! Check out the blog

www.myyearoffaith.blogspot.com