Choices

This month has really given me a huge dose of what it means to be a parent. What it means to put your child first, what it means to get down on your knees and pray for them and what it means to fight for their welfare everyday. And mostly, what it means to make difficult choices.

A few blogs down you can see the post about Sophie throwing temper tantrums. That was kind of the beginning of it all. A couple weeks after I posted that (and endured plenty more of those tantrums) I got news that her daycare was closing down for a week. I scrambled to find a daycare that would take her temporarily. Thankfully I found a great substitute with an interesting rule. No sugar. No sweets, no gummies, no fruit roll ups and NO JUICE. Guess what? The tantrums stopped cold. I all of a sudden had a different child on my hands.

I think that it's appropriate to insert a great big DUH right about here. I know, I know. I mentally chastise parents all day long for feeding their children shaved ice for breakfast while on vacation and then acting bewildered when those same children grow a second head by lunch time. But I guess that I never really put it together. Greg and I had already been considering a day care switch for reasons that had more to do with the price of gas. But the sugar thing was icing on the cake. It's hard to ask any daycare to not give your child juice when all the other children are getting it. I don't want my child to think that she is being punished because she keeps hearing "your mommy said you can't have that" all day long. So we gave a 30 day notice that we would be switching daycares. This was difficult because the person in charge has been a big part of Sophie's life. And we could tell that this person was and still is very much offended. I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings, but I have to-have to put Sophie first.

And if that wasn't enough we might be needing to make that same choice again with our living situation. Or at least enforcing some uncomfortable rules. Sophie has been saying nasty words and phrases to the other kids at daycare that I promise we never taught her. But I know who did and they live next door. And again that choice will offend more people.

So I guess that's what it means to be a parent. To unapologetically (not really a word- I know) choose to put your child's welfare above the desire of others. I'm in charge of raising the best daughter that I know how. That's my job and responsibility above everything else. I can only wonder what it will be like as she gets older and makes friends, joins clubs and plays sports. I pray that God gives me the strength to make the difficult choices for her and the wisdom to teach her how to make them for herself when I'm not there.

Kicking and Screaming

Yesterday I took Sophie with me to the post office on the way to daycare. We got there early so I pulled her into the front seat with me and she played with my iPhone apps as we waited. When the post office opened we went inside and she danced around the people in line making friends with everybody. On the way back to the car I found myself thinking what a lovely morning I had with her.

BUT then I tried to put her in her car seat and all hell broke loose. Oh my. I had never seen her throw a tantrum like that. Especially not in public. She flailed (is that a word?) her body around like a fish doing everything she could to not go in that seat. She screamed and cried bloody murder and I think she might have even smacked me. It became such a scene I finally had to go inside the car from the other side and shut the door so that nobody witnessed our struggle. Because honestly, they probably would have thought I was trying to kidnap her by all the kicking and screaming.

I was so shaken up by it that I didn't even notice until half way to daycare that my emergency brakes were on. When I got to daycare and pulled her out of the car I got a whiff of her diaper. So I of course blamed myself for being an idiot and not realizing that the reason she didn't want to sit down in her seat was because she knew what was coming. I did everything I could to hold back my tears of guilt as I dropped her off. When I finally got to the shop I locked the door behind me, burst into tears, and called my Mom.

The thing is though that the dirty diaper ended up not being the issue at all. Because apparently she threw tantrums for the rest of the day. And then this morning when she did it again I looked at her sternly and asked, "Do you want to go in your crib?". This line normally works like a charm. I can say it anytime of day no matter where we are and she takes me seriously. Even if we are in the car on the other side of town with no crib in sight. But this morning she just looked at me and said, "OK!". My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to do. So I said,"fine, in you go!" and in she went. When I peeked in a few minutes later I caught her with one leg swung over the rail climbing out and smiling with pride as she did it!

Two days ago I had a child that behaved. Two days ago I had a child that on the rare occasion she didn't behave I could put her in her crib for a two minute time out and everything was right in my world again. Two days ago my daughter was too small to climb out of the crib. Two days ago I thought I had this mother thing down.

I would love to say I came up with some parenting epiphany since then. That God whispered in my ear that everything would be OK. But even now as I write I can hear her jumping in her bed like it was a trampoline laughing at me and refusing to sleep. I am at a complete loss.

A Day Off

Today is the first full day that I have had off in over a month (with the exception of Christmas of course). Managing two stores is overwhelming. I know that it will get easier as business picks up and we have a regular staff in place. But for now it's overwhelming. If I'm not in Wailea then I'm in Paia and if I'm not in either place then it's night time and I'm in my office making jewelry. Thanks to my assistant I was blessed with a full day at home with my little girl. And let me tell you it was much needed. We haven't had one of these 'just the two of us' days in awhile and we really didn't have anywhere to be. So we did something that I always want to do but never can because Saturday is normally a work day. We went garage sale hopping. Maui is a pretty great place for garage sales. People either have generations of family here so they have a lot of really great old stuff, or they were only here temporarily and are now leaving the island so they have a lot of really great new stuff. I know that garage sale hopping with a toddler probably doesn't sound like fun to most. But with a child like Sophie who instantly bonds with every stranger she meets it can actually be a lot of fun. And since all the garage sales are in my neighborhood it was pretty convenient too. I didn't find anything for me but Sophie definitely scored. The pieces are old and will need a bit of fixing and granted Sophie doesn't have a doll house yet. But we can find or build that later.

It's been an amazing day. I will go to bed tonight at peace and reminded that next to her none of it matters.

I'm a Genius.

I'm not one to think outside of the box. In fact, if the most obvious solution isn't going to get the job done then that's it, I'm out of ideas. Like Netflix for example. I had accidentally thrown away a couple of the envelopes that you send your movies back in. For months I couldn't figure out how to send the two extra discs that I had back. Finally I googled it. Turns out you can put more than one movie in their return envelopes. Duh, I know. But still, that never would have dawned on me. Part of why I love my husband is his ability to think outside of the box. Granted, I'm probably really easy to impress. But at least he comes across as a genius at least once a week.

BUT this idea was all mine. My daughter is advanced in all ways but one. I'm honestly not trying to brag. She could hold her head up at birth and started walking at 8 months. And I don't mean like at the end of 8 months so really 9 months. I mean the day she turned 8 months so I could almost say 7 months. She is just freakishly strong and coordinated (which she did not get from me). But the one thing that she has trouble with is silverware. She loves it, wants to eat with it, is determined to learn but just horrible at it. The other day she was trying to eat her Cheerios with a spoon and was getting kind of mad at the whole thing. But as I watched I couldn't help but admire her determination. And as I'm thinking how much easier her life would be if they would just stick to the spoon BAM, I'm hit with a genius idea. All on my own too! Peanut Butter! Not a lot, just a little and she can wield that spoon where ever she wants.

Too bad Peanut Butter doesn't go with everything. Hopefully by the time she figures that out she will have a better handle on feeding herself.

Life Lessons

Things that Sophie has taught me...

1. You only need a few words to get through life. NO, Please, Thank you, NO, Hey, More, Ouch, NO, Nice, Milk, Banana, NO. If you've got those down you can really navigate just fine.

2. Nothing starts the day better than Cheerios, Sesame Street and Dad's favorite chair.

3. A Binki (pacifier) dipped in Peanut Butter cures all.

4. Two of anything is always better than one.

5. Don't ever leave anybody behind-even in it's one of 17 stuffed animals and you're only going from the bed to the couch.

6. There is nothing more fun than being naked and running from your mother.

7. Pajamas are for the birds.

8. Ants really are fascinating.

9. You don't need music to dance.

10. Grandma is the funnest person of all.

Halloween

Poor Sophie didn't actually get to celebrate Halloween. By the time the day came around she had just enough of a sniffle that we had to keep her in. Thankfully I was so in love with her costume that I put her in it every chance I got before Halloween ever arrived. There are many more of these photo of Sophie going about her day dressed as a monkey. The only thing missing is the banana we were going to have her carry as we went door to door. Oh well, there is always next year.